Well, huh. Life can still surprise you. Last weekend, human hackey-sack Ashton Kutcher won the Teen Choice Award's "Ultimate Choice Award" (?) and went onstage to give an acceptance speech. Now, in the past, the Teen Choice Awards have been primarily known as a trash chute for whatever it is that the TCA's churn out and, for all we know, the rest of the show was garbage as usual. However, Kutcher's acceptance speech has become something of a viral hit, and if you can ignore the teen girls who lose their minds screaming at regular intervals, this is actually a surprisingly profound, thoughtful bundle of tips that Kutcher's viewing audience is very fortunate to be hearing—and you might appreciate it as well. So, take it away, Ashton. Er, Chris ...
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